Only a few little points on this one.
- In converting captured fighters part..
"All of the fighter’s equipment is also destroyed to fully embrace his new life, but he will keep implanted bionic equipment."
I assume this is necessary for balance but makes very little fluff sense. Pirates would keep equipment from captives whether they convert them or sell them to slavers.
Also, you don't need to put 3 A and 3 B to denote those sections. They are all a continuation of part 3. You do one after the other, not either/or.
I would change to the following layout / wording:
3. The Void Pirates player rolls 2D6 and adds the Captain's Leadership to the score; the opposing player rolls 2D6 and adds the captured model’s leadership to the score. Any Member of Ecclesiarchal Delegation or Inquisition Cells adds 2 to his result.
If the Captain scores higher than the prisoner, the prisoner becomes a pirate. Copy his profile, skills, experience, etc, onto the Void Pirates roster. Note the fighter is now classed as a crew member unit type if it is a Mixed Race war band, or a slave if it is an Eldar/Orkoid war band meaning he may lose access to skill sets, weaponry and special abilities. All of the fighter’s equipment is kept by the pirates. Note that they captive may no longer be able to use his old equipment in his new life as a crewman or slave.
If the prisoner equals or beats the Captain’s score then he resists and refuses to convert to piracy.
If a prisoner is not traded, will not convert and is not rescued then he is sold to Slavers for D6x5 TG. His equipment is kept by the pirates.
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Remove:
Void Pirates generally have no qualms about mixing human and Xenos races, so long as everyone does their job and performs well in battle. As such, upon creation, Void Pirates may select humans and Xenos models as listed.
Add something at the top of the next page before the Eldar Corsairs section. Maybe:
A Void Pirates warband must be chosen from one of the following sub types: Eldar Corsairs, Ork Freebootas or a standard Void Pirates warband.
Also change "Mixed race/species" warband to "Void Pirates" (or "Space Raiders" or "Bandits" or "Mercenary Crew" or similar) as you may select all one race if you prefer so "Mixed Race" is incorrect.