The life of RonBSM- Youtube, Family: The BLOG

RonBSM

The Upside Down Troll
Tribe Council
Mar 26, 2020
412
642
138
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Port Talbot
This last 3 weeks I have been fighting against being backstabbed out of my own business, trying to protect some people from some pretty poor treatment and in doing so possibly gambled away (not like in the casino, I dont gamble money or anything really) my entire income stream on a point of strong moral code and principle so I've really struggled to sleep, much less pick up a brush or do my usual terrain building therapy (you may have noticed no youtube videos at all in this time).

I feel depressed, beaten, betrayed, uncertain. The whole works. It pretty much takes all my energy not to look at my kids and get upset knowing that in spite of my moral compass being deadly accurate it doesn't account for practicality of life and more than ever trying to be the good guy has left me emotionally and practically screwed.

I haven't posted here as much because of all of this. Its heartbreaking for me on so many levels that it would take a whole afternoon to explain without pause. I need to post this somewhere because I don't need to keep this bottled up as its getting poisonous and I don't want it to be the thing that sours my personal life by making my wife endure it too.

Lesson for the kids.... look after your own interests first and help people after that. I have a clean conscience but I might have screwed over my family by mistake.
 

Tiny

Hive Guilder
Tribe Council
Jul 12, 2011
3,226
7,399
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South Wales, UK
www.tinyworlds.co.uk
Money comes and goes. Never feel bad for standing by your convictions.

As you say though, you have to look after yourself first. There's a good reason when flying on a plane they say to affix your own mask before helping others with theirs.

Also, big hugs.
 
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ClockworkOrange

Executive Officer in charge of Pandemics & Trolls!
Staff member
Yak Comp 1st Place
Tribe Council
Dec 29, 2012
5,346
16,003
248
Nottingham
By profession I’m a fairly mercenary, cash before principles kind of person, but I have big respect for those who aren’t like that! I often wonder if I was suited to the job or the job made me? If that makes sense? dramatic pause, evil laugh, etc.

Anyhow, feel free to vent here dude, we are a safe space and as those older In ways of Yaks will know, myself and @Tiny included, we are a tight knit group of grognards and misfits that are here when needed!
 

undertaker

Gang Hero
Honored Tribesman
Oct 21, 2016
1,275
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Nottingham
I wonder why we've created such a society where you have to choose between your conscience and your well-being. 😞
Thankfully I've never had to make such a choice, but I can empathise with those that have to. It's not easy, and there is no right answer.
 

RonBSM

The Upside Down Troll
Tribe Council
Mar 26, 2020
412
642
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Port Talbot
Well we didn't create the society that way. Some people are just more two faced than a 20 sided dice.

Ah well. I will have to face it and just get past it. I'm going to try and paint up 2 more tomorrow to at least take my mind off this and try to get my FYSC July entry where it needs to be.
 

Tiny

Hive Guilder
Tribe Council
Jul 12, 2011
3,226
7,399
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South Wales, UK
www.tinyworlds.co.uk
I wonder why we've created such a society where you have to choose between your conscience and your well-being. 😞
If you think about it another way it is actually a luxury to be able to choose between the two. In the past people have seldom had the levels of choice in life we enjoy today.

Still, its hard to make the hard decisions... otherwise they wouldn't be hard decisions. When I first started my business it was a partnership. About 2 years in, I had to make the hard decision to tell my business partner, who was also one of my best friends it just wasn't working and so we dissolved the partnership. He's still one of my best friends and we're both better for it... but it didn't feel like it at the time. It felt awful. I felt like I'd stabbed him in the back. He probably felt the same.
 

lukee

Ganger
Feb 1, 2013
61
183
93
35
Geelong, Victoria, Australia
We have hardly spoken on here but I do occasionally pop by to see what you are up to. I can tell you are a bit like me, juggling work, family and hobby as well as building your shed etc. I don’t know you but I’m guessing you call a spade a spade and just like me it can cause more harm than good. Trust your instincts Ron, as I do. I have been burned many a time by friends and colleagues who were out to get one up on me and at the end of the day they were the ones that lost in the end. I would have done anything for those people and now they have nothing to show other than having lost me. I have been to the bottom of the barrel and have battled with depression and alcoholism and very nearly lost my wife and kids as a result. I dragged myself out of it in the end and rose above the crap. I think just like me you can do the same. I don’t need details on what’s happened as it’s your business and only you can sort it out but if you want a chat let me know. I can’t solve your dilemma but sometimes just having someone to talk to does help very much. Also if and when I’m able to return to 🇬🇧 to see my parents I will be bringing a gang or two with me and would not be against travelling to 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿 to get my arse handed to me 🙂
 
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RonBSM

The Upside Down Troll
Tribe Council
Mar 26, 2020
412
642
138
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Port Talbot
Well... yes. What else are you supposed to call a spade?

The people I'm dealing with are calling it a shovel. Or a trowel. Or a digger.

Its a f*****g spade...

And yeah, being this way leads to being honest and similarly getting... tucked up.

If you're in the UK and looking to hook up for a game Im down for that. I'm sure a day could be made of it easily!
 

lukee

Ganger
Feb 1, 2013
61
183
93
35
Geelong, Victoria, Australia
Well... yes. What else are you supposed to call a spade?

The people I'm dealing with are calling it a shovel. Or a trowel. Or a digger.

Its a f*****g spade...

And yeah, being this way leads to being honest and similarly getting... tucked up.

If you're in the UK and looking to hook up for a game Im down for that. I'm sure a day could be made of it easily!
😂we would get on just fine I reckon. Sad thing is I have no idea when the borders here will re-open. But I have a credit on a flight that should have been taken in May. When i finally can travel I will let you know. My family live In Cambridgeshire but originally came from Aberystwyth many moons ago. I call myself English as I was born there but do enjoy a trip across the border.
 

RonBSM

The Upside Down Troll
Tribe Council
Mar 26, 2020
412
642
138
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Port Talbot
In fairness to the lad.... he's been painting the Indomitus Necrons I've given him as he has displayed a taste for the hobby.

He would post here but I need to help him learn how to navigate the site (patience akin to the attention span of a gnat on times is @ryanBSM )

He also attempted OSL! Not bad for what? Maybe his 7th and 8th models?

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