Them Other Bowl(s)

[Scabs]

OK, me and my long time nemesis/BFF decided to play some Saturday afternoon Blood Bowl. However, both of us had later engagements, and were pressed for time (and, we're Boomers and don't play so fast). No time for a full-sized 11's game. Perfect for a shorter, quicker, just-for-fun (as if!) BB variant.

Well, he don't like 7's (I love it). Or, Beach Bowl (C'mon, Man!). Dungeon Bowl can be quick (or not). And, we have to be in the right mood for it. We weren't. He do like the confined brutality of Street Bowl. He likes to keep his gaming on the straight and narrow (Pro Dad joke, do NOT try this at home!). I like Street Bowl for quick trysts. But on this beautiful Southern California day, we're playing on the patio next to the pool. Bro, let us enjoy the rays and the view of the valley! You guessed it! Gutter Bowl!

GB is a quick, 7's-sized game played on one side of a two-sided, full-sized 11's pitch. With either four market stalls, or sewers, on respective flipsides of the pitch. Channeling movement and causing mayhem (yeeha!). Of course we op for the side with them stink'n sewers, and their reprehensible rules. Using our current League teams. My Tomb Kings vs. his Amazons. But, in keeping with the amateur teams theme, no League hard-earned skills. A full-fledged Gutter Bowl grudge match ensues (i.e., a quarter-century of honest gaming animosity).

Gutter Bowl is quick, and dirty. The stone floor(s) break armor like Mighty Blow (+1 to armor rolls). The stalls/sewers channel movement. There's rules for the sidewalls. And rules for the stalls. Or, the sewers (with loathsome critters lurking below the murky surface). There's only 6 turns per half for your 7 players to move the ball the full length of an 11's pitch, for to score. The special Weather and Kickoff rules are whacky. Again, the players are amateurs (so, re-rolls are prohibitively expensive). Gutter Bowl is less chaotic than Dungeon Bowl. Less open-field shenanigan's than 7's. Still, Gutter Bowl rewards superior play.

In the end, we weren't superior, and we tied (grrr). Yet, fun-in-the-sun was had. And, we timed it perfectly! So, I guess we're both winners, after all!

 

[Scabs]

Last week, was asked to teach Blood Bowl to a friend of a friend. BUT, on a weekday night, with a time limit. And, he will be starting from scratch, not even Blood Bowl video game experience. So, I opted for Street Bowl. It's a 7's size game, with less players and smaller pitch and plays quicker. But, instead of 7's two Lines of Scrimmage, a single LOS which gets right into Blocking and Blitzing and assisting and resisting. And the street is narrow, so no room for end-around shenanigan's, which are fun but not always instructive. IMHO. Basically, we got right down to business.

Well, except for the time I spent Scab'splaining the basics and such, it kinda played fast. In any event, we got a full half-game of Street Bowl in. I know he walked away with a thorough exposure to the intricacies of Blood Bowl. I don't know if he gained a love of the game. Have not heard back.

 

[Scabs]

OK, that friend who has a friend had no opponent on game night. Suggested Street Bowl (he's a former league coach). Wanted to play his Tomb Kings (which would dominate Street Bowl!). I cleverly suggested Beach Bowl. Against my purpose built Orcs, the "Beach Boyz" . Just enough of a difference between the two games to make a game of it. It was, indeed. I never threw so many one-die blocks. Never came close to scoring. On the last turn, he had a chance to score a winning TD. Only needed two GFI's. Yeah, you know the story. Anyway, a 0-0 tie can be scentilating-ish.

 

[Scabs]

Well, my latest League day fell through. Hey, Dude, prioritizing a business trip to another country (he's an archeologists, so there may have been dinosaur bones involved) calls into question one's dedication. And, so does another coach's car trouble. "Uber" is NOT a four letter word! Anyway, I was forced to spend Sunday afternoon with family and friends. DAMMIT!

BUT, me and my son did find some time to sneak in a Dungeon Bowl game! My Heavens team versus his Shadow boys. Promising a good time all around. I kinda played more aggressive than usual. Like handing off to a Skink, and then running him/her/it(?) onto a portal, Normally, that is fraught. But, it worked OK-ish. Got the Skink out of a sticky wicket. With a semi-clear path to the opponent's end zone. Only, blocked by two dirty rats. Note: they were both standing next to an un-opened chest. "Hmm," says I. I sent a nearby Saurus their way, and opened the chest, bold as you please. Since the chest with the ball had already been opened, this chest could only contain a bomb. BANG! The resulting explosion knocked both them dirty rats down and stunned them. My next turn, my Skink with the ball high-tailed it into the End Zone.

I like these variants because I can get in a game even when I cannot get in a "real" 11's game. Plus, variety IS spicy!

 

[Scabs]

Imagine it's League Day and your scheduled opponent can't make it (zombie apocalypse or some dang thing!). Pack up and go home? Hardly, I'm the League Commish, I stick around (and I like to watch).

Wait! What's this? Why my OLD gaming pal makes an appearance (he'd already played his League game the day before). Also came to watch and support. So, pressed for time, we did play that Street Bowl game we did not play that other time. My League Nurgle team vs his League Imperials. I should have the advantage, right? Wrong!

One thing Imperials excel at is gumming up the pitch. The SB pitch is all of 7 squares wide. Gum it up, they did. I elected to receive, but did not score in the first half. Worse, he did squeak by my stinky squad in the second half and score. Oh well, it was fast and fun! No, Street Bowl ain't chock full of strategy. There's typically no time or space to even get off a tasty chain push. And because I lost, I can say with confidence, the best man does NOT always win.

 

[Scabs]

Hey, wait! I've got a new complaint.

So, Blood Bowl Sevens. Me and my reluctant Son, who don't exactly love Them Other Bowls. My Vampires. Against his Wood Elves. Fast, furious, and fraught. Amirite? Psst...he plays Vamps in tournaments, and wins. But is suspicious that my usual luck whenever we play Them Other Bowls, is outta whack. I mean, I didn't ask my Son to track how many times my Vamps failed Bloodlust? So, is it MY fault MY score was 3 Bloodlust fails outta 47 rolls? 6% instead of statistical average 16%. I mean, c'mon, my Vamps are well painted, well trained, and well, maybe before the game they filled the ole water cooler with universal donor Type-O blood. Amirite?

Any-old-ways, as it turns out, if Vamps don't bloodlust all the much. Then, they in fact, do really well all that much. The good news...I kindly like Vamps (16%-6%=)10% more than before. The sad news, my Son likes Sevens 10% less than he did before (which was already in the low 30-ish%). He will play regular Blood Bowl and Gutter Bowl anytime. Them Other Bowls? Alas, not so much.

Oh, don't get me started on him and Beach Bowl. He ain't no beach bum. Surf's NOT up!