This wasn't the first time the Captain had been to Downtown Mega Dome One, when he was last here he managed to blag a good deal from that stupid mayor. He had sold him some of the servitors that he had found on Armagedon, what the mayor didn't know wouldn't hurt, right? And with all the spare parts that came with them, the captain would be making profit for days!
But upon receiving the news that one of the units had been damaged, the captain Gave out a boatswains call to his crew of ex bodybuilding servitors (all suffering the imperial price for extreme vanity) and headed , from their ship in necromunda's orbit, to retrieve the salvage with the intention of giving it a lick of paint and selling it back on!
So the captain, in true leader fasion, teleported first, to the darkest, meanest part of the underhive .......which he had made sure was clear of any and all mean darkness by his Delaque intelligence operative, known only as agent brown.
Together they travelled 100 miles in the captains newly aquired Dangermobile, but found it was a difficult journey as neither of them wanted to look the least cool by removing their shades!
Upon arriving in the dome, the captain went to locate the missing servitor, only to find him pinned unnaturally to the domes hive guys sign and totally unsalvagable, while he sent Brown to rendezvous with the local badass, psycopath, fellow goliath weight enthusiast, Rick Razor.
Unfortunately, the news wasn't good.
While the Razorbacks were having their midweek wind-down drinking session, their supply of belvenie wildsnake had not turned up from their brother house Gang the Ripflow tide sharks, (it was due to be delivered by the river that day)
And not only that, but by the next morning, all the Razorbacks had vanished!
Not wanting to miss out on some lucrative trading, and with a seconds silence for his missing kinsmen, the captain approached the mayor of downtown and tried to play hardball with his onions and hairgel!
Knowing a useful idiot when he sees one, and with slight pang of guilt from the excessive amounts of servitor parts that accidentally got sent to him, the mayor offered the captain some 'prime real estate' if he could manage to dredge the old sump round the back of the guild offices.
Not looking a gift horse in the mouth, and after being reassured that there was no links whatsoever to any ancient yakskin tribe, rituals, prophesies or otherwise. The captain soon settled in to his new underhive dwelling, quickly getting his crew down to the surface, and hastily turning the domes precious clean water supply into a private spa and bubble bath emporium.
All was good for a time,
Although he had yet to find a buyer for his new brand of shampoo, (made from the finest sludge from the Ripflow tide river - he couldn't put his finger on it, but there was just an element to his chemicals that just gave the glossiest of shines to any hair type) and he and the crew were just finishing giving the THUNDERCUBE a last minute rustic old concrete finish when they heard a loud bellow from the other side of the arena! Whatever it was, it sounded monsterous....and it sounded p**sed off!
Here's the captains men, minding their own buisness, painting grey walls a differnt shade of grey without a care in the hive!
But what is this? Out of the darkness comes the yellow beasts! With raging howls and clashing of bionics they come with a fierce purpose! TO BREAK THE CHAINS OF SERVITUDE, So that all cyborgs may be free!!
The very first Pitslaves to enter the THUNDERCUBE! Their spirits high and their prosthetics sharp!
The left flank, as the captain makes best use of his tactical firing line (he isn't using them as cover...honestly)
The mechanical might of Moleman and the professor advance with purpose.
The fight was breif but the carnage was glorious! The left flank managed to hold the molemen at bay (despite an infiltrating yakskin that didn't follow any orders - he was still lovesick from his affair with a slicer)
The centre was dominated by chief engineer krunk's heavy stub volleys, and the right flank truly belonged to the mechanical menace!
Sending his ordinary seemen to prove their worth, and supervised by chief science officer Wolfgang, the only juve to show any valour was number 5! After completely failing to cause any damage from three badly thrown grenades, the pitslave's quickly closed the gap. Number 5 used his quick wits to stop a set of sheers by wedging a grenade between them, he couldn't save his comrade from being held aloft on the end of a chain blade and being shredded into a hundred peices, number 4 was no more, he hadn't even written his compulsory nice poem about the captain yet! And it all was abit much for number 6 who fled as fast as his legs could carry him.
If the battle had been but five minutes longer the captain would have been in trouble, but as it was, moleman called off the attack and with pride at showing the surface dwellers the capabilities of his molekind, he made his way back to the east side of the dome!
Having started to get suspicious of the mayor, the captain rallied his men and went on a diplomatic mission to his mutually beneficial neibour, the delaque leader known as Stroudenmire.
Being on the other side of the river, and more importantly, the other side of the slicers, the captain really let his guard down as the baldy appearance of their clan had no real threat to the captains main line of buisness.
He asked Stroudenmire if he knew of any flourishing enterprises that could be had in the dome, and he hastily pointed out that with the great arena, people will want to have a warm up act, and there is nothing funnier than seeing an escaped slave running for his life to get the crowd jeered up and thirsting for more!
He drew the captain a map of some tunnel systems that were notorious hiding places for dreggs.
So the captain set out, happy with his new found aquaintance.
Into the tunnels they went and it wasn't long before Kokoum, the yakskin scout, called out from the darkness appealing for the captains aid!
He had found a group of down and outers, but he had also found something else!
The captain split his men into two teams, the right side led by Wolfgang, would aid Kokoum as quickly as possible, while the left team, led personally by the captain would head off any slave trying to make off!
Right team come into view of Kokoum, but he looks shaken, not only is he witnessing a random ganger being mauled by a giant mutant tenticle, he also hears the hive spirits and they warn him of a great danger lurking amongst the shadows.
Right team make contact with the unknown house fighters, they hold their line but instantly regret it as a frag grenade lands with precision right at their feet! BOOM!!
Quickly pulling them round, Wolfgang opens up with his autoslugger and repels the enemy, but it is in vain as the hidden menace as foreseen by Kokoum, leaps from its hiding place and savages the entire killteam.
But be it known not one of dangercompany fled the menace, they served their captain well!
The left team made a cautious advance and was soon in the thick of a firefight. After turning a corner, they were confronted by a rather worn out, bloodied fighter, who only managed a wry smile and a small wave of his free hand before klunk opened up his weapon and saw the tenticle monster off!
But the distraction came at a price, in hindsight, having his men March drillsquare like around the sence corridors was a tactile mistake, as a huge gout of flamer fuel engulfed the entire of left team!
One crewman went out in pain and Krunk caught fire and was manically trying to exhaust the flames as the captain made a tactical retreat around the corner (....what??....it was a new tunic!)
After afew more shots were fired, Krunk managed to beat out the flames, but not without gaining a new found fear of promethium fire.
The captain begrudgingly called the retreat,
Kokoum was never seen again,
And the captain questioned how much about the tunnels Stroudenmire ACTUALLY knew!?
It had taken a while for the crew to recover their wounds, but the captain made sure buisness was still open as usual.
Due to the ever dwindling lack of manpower, he hired the help of an old accomplice of his who for some reason or another, happened to be wandering the dome!
He may look old and may look as though he would blow away in a vent gust, but by the emperor is he strong! All it took was for the captain to buy him a pint of second best and a handful of softmints and Cohen was happy to help out!
The captain had spent most his free time working out stroudenmires buisness practices and trade routes. Brown had given him the perfect ambush point, and the captain just bide his time until he could make a true statement of revenge! He waited until they were transporting luxury toiletries for the mayor and a shipment of extra strength hair removal cream! He was going to make all the baldies of the dome pay for their disdain! The captain wasn't happy...
The ambush was set, the men had them surrounded from every angle! They had played the delaque at their own game and they had succeeded! All that they were waiting for now was the signal of a grenade blast by number 5......
Number 5 pulled the pin, he could see the enemy making their way across the gantry, cargo flanked by the irregularly lax delaque formation, could they have known they were being followed, who knew, the captain was waiting for his signal though, here goes nothing.......
Number 5 jumped from his hiding place and threw with all his might.....
He watched the grenade fly way off target and into the abyss....
Oh bugger...
Krunk had only just gotten to his vantage point when he heard the blast, too early, way way too early! He looked up and there was a heavy stubber pointed right at him......
Wolfgang and number 7 (Bond) were in position, Wolfgang watched the failed grenade fly and on his own initiative clicked the autoslugger into automatic and opened up, pinning the lascannon weilder.
Up above him Bond had come face to face with the legendary gunfighter, wild bill. They exchange a short glance before reaching for their weapons! Too fast for bond, wild bill makes his mark, causing the able crewman to slump over the edge of the building, enough to cause Wolfgang to be distracted....
The lascannon weilder takes advantage of the break in strecato, he lifts his finely tuned instrument of death and with one well aimed shot, Wolfgang was out of the fight and would be immediately teleported back to the medbay aboard the crumpet!
On the highest most tower, the captain watched as the conflict and ambush failed.
He had made the plans, and studied the trade routes. His sources had been reliant up until now. What had happened?
Before self doubt could enter his mind. Through some hatches a throng of delaque emerged!
The captain didn't hesitate, a well placed lasblast brought a hulking delaque to his knees, causing all but two, to jump to safety.....
Through the haze, stood right before the captain, was Stroudenmire!
Unnervingly unaffraid of the captain, Stroudenmire dived towards him, releasing a barrage of plasma pistol rounds!
The captain took two to the chest but it would take more than a burning ball of plasma to keep the captain down!
Stroudenmire parries the captains pickaxe, does a whirling flourish, trenchcoat billowing from the movement, and ends with the plasma pistol placed firmly against the captains forehead.....
The captain didn't hear what Stroudenmire said.....
He didn't hear anything again.....
Rupert, fighting off the yakskin Slag Heap, just couldn't keep it together and fled. The mechanicum say that servitors can't cry, but on that day, whether it was condensation or a drop from a stalagtite, able crewman0001 (now acting captain) Rupert, had a tear in his eye.
The captai was dead, his cap floated down from the heights and landed gently into the gutter.
Not only had Stroudenmire known, but he was also in league with the mayor! He was tipped off about the ambush, and before Rupert had even made it back to the Captains tower (he was secretly coveting his opportunity to have his first ever bubble bath) the guild had changed the locks and declared the territory deeds in the Copperheads name!
Rupert had no more condensation left, he hung his head low and made his way to the rest of the crew at the hair gel refinery.
When he got there, he found klunk busily dismantling the dispenser mechanism, the captain had left strict orders that, should anything happen, that they disable all functional machinery and let the grox lovers rot!
The rest of the men were patrolling the walls when Krunk noticed movement at the gate,
Expending all his ammo in the first volley, he swiftly took the unwary intruder, and with the alarm sounded, the rest of the crew jumped to action!
Being vastly outnumbered, the crew held their ground, the captain would have been so pleased.
Battle ensues as the more daring fighters close the gap.
On the far side of the refinery, an old enemy is creeping in the darkness.....
Fighting off a barrage of firepower and protecting the newly commissioned Rupert, number two uses a staple gun (possessed for use in company administration) to keep his leaders squidgy bits intact, as he spots the danger in the shadow........
Leaping up onto the wall, the xeno makes a wild roar, but number 2 fears not the alien, he swiftly uses a technique once taught to him by the captain himself........
SPARTAN KICK!!!
Number 2 loads a round into the chamber and stares for a second at the stunned monstrosity....
"Get away from him, you bitch!"
*budda budda budda*
The bolt rounds hit their mark and cause the creature to wince in pain, acouple of rounds are lodged tight into the Devils chitinous hide!
Despite their valient efforts, the crew of the crumpet just couldn't hold their ground.
In the following days the crew hear rumours that the alien menace had unknowingly been promoted to watchmen!
Despite ruperts protests, his appeal had been ignored, the crew were a spent force within the dome.
Failed in there mission to dominate trade in the dome, in really bad shape and in tattered uniform, they meet up with agent brown who leads them to the teleport homing beacon.
On the bridge, Rupert, all resplendent and ship shape in his new uniform hands a manuscript report to a dark figure sat in the chair of a space captain, the figure quickly flicks through the document and nods slowly and in approval....
I'll get you next time Stroudenmire! Next time.........