Yaktribe Summer Grand Melee 2025

CaptainDangerous

Mr Captain "+1 third place" Dangerous
Staff member
Yak Comp 3rd Place
Tribe Council
Oct 30, 2016
4,845
16,329
288
Durham, uk
YAKTRIBE SUMMER GRAND MELEE 2025

*you have travelled many days, but you have reached your destination*

CASTLE YAKSKULL
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*you all enter the Great Hall and proceed down. You are greeted by Sir Dangerous, the Steward of Yakskull*
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“Greetings Fellow Tribesmen! Welcome to Yakskull Castle! Let me explain what’s going to happen…”
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Over the next 3 weeks I’ll be putting you all to the test, but they’ll be great glory and fortune for those who survive!
They’ll be 4 rounds (roughly 10 fights total) which consists of:
-5 group battles (one fighter per team in accordance to their number)
-4 team battles (a mini tournament of sorts)
-individual challenges
-THE SUMMER GRAND MELEE!

Fights will take place at various locations around the castle, where challengers will face off against each other. Combat will be determined using these:
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Some of you will recognise them as the ‘Chivalry’ cards from an ancient white dwarf, but basically blue cards are the attack deck, and red cards are the defence. If an attack isn’t successfully defended then a number of ‘wounds’ are inflicted.
Once a fighter exceeds their ‘wounds’ they yield to their assailant and bow out of the bout. (Some of the cards are very unforgiving however)

Each fighter starts with 4 move, 1 attack, 1 defence and 3 wounds. They also start with a chest, which you brought with you, and is full of gold.

When you defeat an opponent you gain another chest of gold, and if you win a bout you also get a bonus chest!
Chests of gold will be stored in the team common rooms, and can either be piled up, gambled on any of the fights at 2/1 odds, or spent on imaginary furniture!!:
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Each item is 1 chest each.

Any yak may still join in by becoming one of the squires, unfortunately squires only gain chests only half full. (But your glory will be twice as much)
Otherwise, squires grant an ‘extra life’ to the team they belong to, should the worst happen, however, the unfortunate yak must come up with a plausible cause for this to happen.

The first battles will be on Monday! I’ll list the order of battle and make a note of any victories and bets in the post below!

For now, the squires will take you to the team common rooms until you are summoned!

Good Luck Yaks! Glory awaits and remember:
THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE! ⚔️

 
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Sable Team (A-black)
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1- Sir Dangerous
2- Sir Medmos Bernard of Black 💰💰💰💰💰+1 A
3- Squire Horus the pretty 💀
4- Sir Radulykan 💰💰💰💰 +1 A
5- Sir Arnulf of Ulm 💰💰💰
Black Common room furniture: fireplace

Azure Team (B-Blue)
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1- Sir Punky D’Honored💰
2-Sir Trafalgar of the Law 💰💰💰💰💰
3-Sir Biggle the Bear 💰💰
4-Squire💵
5-Squire💵

Gules Team (C-Red)
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1- Sir Clockwork of Orange 💰💰💰💰 +1 T
2- Squire Secondus 💵
3- Squire Tertius 💰💵
4- Sir Stoof
5- Squire Quintus - Dead-arm cleave 💀(Sir Pagumb)

Vert Team (D-green)
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1- Lord Anonymous d’Green (squire) 💵
2- Sir Tiny 💰
3- Sir Musing d’Warboss 💰
4- Squire 💵
5-Sir Pagumb the Hohum of Humdrum 💰💰💰💰 +1 S

Round 1 - Group battles:

Sir Dangerous vs
Sir Punky vs
Sir Clockwork vs (WINNER!)
Green squire
Bets:
example:sir dangerous - sir dangerous 1(chest)
(I feel there would be a slight conflict of interest if I could gamble 😋)
Sir Stoof - Sir Punky 1 - loss
Sir Medmos - sir dangerous 1 - loss

Sir medmos vs (winner)
Sir Trafalgar vs
Red squire vs
Sir Tiny
Bets:
Sir punky-sir Trafalgar 1 - loss

Black squire vs DEAD
Sir Biggle vs
Red squire vs (WINNER!)
Sir Musing’d Warboss
Bets:

Sir Radulykan vs (WINNER!)
Blue squire vs
Sir Stoof vs
Green squire
Bets:

Sir Arnulf vs
Blue squire vs
Red squire vs DEAD
Sir Pagumb (WINNER!)
Bets:

Round 2 - Team Battles:

Team 1 vs team 2
Azure vs Winners
Gules

Bets:
Sir Arnulf - Azure 💰 win
Sir Biggle - Gules 💰 loss
Sir Medmos - Azure 💰💰 win
Sir Stoof - Gules 💵 loss

Team 3 vs team 4
Sable vs
Vert

Bets:
Sir Stoof (/squire Tertius) - Sable 💰💵
Sir Musing D’ Warboss - Vert 💰
Sir Radulykan - Sable 💰
Sir Punky - Sable 💰

Winner 1 vs winner 2
Azure vs

Loser 1 vs loser 2
Gules vs

Round 3 - individual Challenges: TBD
(Personal Challenges can be made any time during the event, but take place here)

Final Round - THE YAKTRIBE SUMMER GRAND MELEE 2025!
 
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With apologies for my silliness...
Retainer 1: "Majestic! Is that a moat surrounding Castle Yakskull?"
Retainer 2: "You feckless goat tickler! Tis no moat, it's the famous screaming ore chasm!"
Retainer 3: "The source of the metal for Sir Dangerous's legendary sword?"
Retainer 2: "The very same..."
 
Why, Sir Tiny, that shield is bigger than you are! Not afraid, are we?
And Sir Trafalgar, that's a novel stance... Trying to twist your torso all the way around to look for an escape route?
And a squire... I have no time for such a lumpish, hedge-born whey-face!
 
...
And Sir Trafalgar, that's a novel stance... Trying to twist your torso all the way around to look for an escape route?

Dost thou not knowest thine stances you base borne son of a swine?
Sir MedMos, to be fair to Sir Trafalgar, I'd just asked him "Does the stripe on your tabard stretch all the way 'round from your yellow belly or did you shat yourself upon seeing such an assembly of warriors who so clearly outclass a beslubbering flax-wench such as yourself?" The multi-syllabic words seemed to set him off on a right tizzy as he twisted too and fro...
 
Alack, I am placed against a pair of pox-marked winnows and a rank onion-eyed hedge pig. I quail at befouling my armour with their feeble humours, but if chance wishes it then it will be so.

I shall avail myself of the whetstone this evening to ensure my blade is as keen as can be, and polish my helm until I am fully satisfied.
 
Round 1 group 1 (part 1 of 4)
(Last time I did something like this, Malo limited the pictures per post to 10 😵‍💫)
*not all reports will be this in depth, but this one shows what goes on!

“Right, everyone out of the throne room!…
…not you sir clockwork
…not you sir punky
…not you green squire, the one that keeps forgetting my bedtime hot chocolate!”

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Initiative roll and defence cards (lowest goes first 😙)
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After a random roll, sir dangerous goes first and heads doee we n the left toward the squire
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sir punky gets the first swing at sir clockwork
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Sir punky goes low but sir clockwork uses some fast footwork
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Sir dangerous and green squire meet on the stairs “ha haa, I have the high ground!”
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Green squire makes a wild slash but sir dangerous gives him the slip
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However, sir dangerous uses his special move, he has only his instincts to protect him now
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Sir dangerous does a counter slash and catches green squire on the head!
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Meanwhile, sir clockwork continues his fancy footwork.
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Round 1 - group 1 (part 2 of 4)

A second dodge
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Followed by a very nasty thrust past sir punkys defences!
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Sir punky and the green squire hold their ground and are still in the game
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Sir punky thinks about striking back but is dazzled by the orange glow of sir clockworks helm
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Green squire bluffs and causes sir dangerous to protect his danger sack, which leaves an opportunity for a sword atm strike
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“How can I enjoy my hot chocolate if I can’t even hold the cup?”
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Sir dangerous shows no mercy but the elevation causes too much distance, green squire leaps back “whoa!”
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“I said I want marshmallows!”
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Sir clockwork is warmed up now and goes for the kill
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Sir punky blocks the mighty blow and brings his sword down in kind, but the orange one is just a blur
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Round 1 group 1 (part 3 of 4)

Green squire quickly charges back at sir dangerous
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The green squire slashes just blade and takes out sir dangerous legs from beneath him, causing him to fall down the steps
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“Your hot chocolate is served!”
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Determined to cause sir punky brain damage,sir clockworks savage efforts pay off and he makes a giant sword shaped dent in sir pinky’s green helm
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<DONK!>
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Both remaining combatants rush the other and meat eachother before the empty throne
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Sir clockwork goes for a punch in a sign of disrespect, but misses
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Green squire gives the ultimate disrespect and doesn’t miss with his counter attack
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“Oooooo!”
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Green squire makes a quick follow up move which is blocked by the sinister bend shield
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Round 1 group 1 (part 4 of 4)

However, sir clockwork refuses to waste the edge of his blade on such a low born servant and bashes the green squire to the ground
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“Geteth down and stayeth down!”
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Sir clockwork shows no mercy and brings his shield round in a backswing, knocking out the green squire as hi tries to get to his feet
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Only one yak stands victorious…
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…it had to be clockwork didn’t it 🤦‍♂️

Green squire 💵 (half chest)
Defeated sir dangerous

Clockwork 💰💰💰
Defeated sir punky and green squire 2
Won round 1

As a bonus sir clockwork you may improve one of your stats: move, attack, defence or wounds?

*sir dangerous mumbles under his breath*
…Well done

Sir Stoof and sir medmos both lost their bets and both lose 1 chest each