Yaktribe Summer Grand Melee 2025

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Pressure Builds
Sir Stoof rammed forward in a shield bash at Sir Biggle, but the knight of blue iron distracted him mid-drive.
Sir Punky’s chest thrust slammed into squire Alpha— 2 damage.
Sir Trafalgar’s arm cut drew 1 damage from Stoof.
Biggle’s vicious boot caught Sir Stoof in the soft and squidgies, the red plated knight mistakenly raising his shield to guard high — 1 damage.
Squire Gamma’s low stab grazed Clockwork’s thigh — 1 damage.
Squire Delta shield bash battered Stoof back into the waterlogged wall — 1 damage, and Stoof yielded, limping.

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Red Lines Fray
Sir Clockwork slashed at Squire Gamma’s arm, but Gamma slipped away.
Squire Alpha’s arm slash hit Sir Punky’s guard late — 2 damage scored.
Sir Punky’s leg slash bit deep into Sir Clockwork — 2 damage.
Sir Biggle’s leg cut at Squire Alpha was parried.
Squire Gamma’s head cut at Sir Clockwork was dodged.
Squire Deltas leg hack against Squire Alpha tore past his defense — 3 damage — Squire Alpha yielded, bleeding into the water.
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Sir Clockwork Alone
Sir Clockwork’s leg slash at Squire Gamma sparked a furious chain: Gamma countered with a punch, Sir Clockwork countered with an arm cut, Gamma countered with a leg hack, Sir Clockwork broke the rhythm with a sudden distraction feint.
Sir Punky’s leg cut was dodged.
Charging from the other side of the chamber, Sir Trafalgar’s arm hack smashed home — 3 damage — and Clockwork yielded, chest heaving.
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Final Call
The dungeon fell silent but for the drip of water and the low laughter of the blue-armored victors.
Blue Team Victorious.
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Something(else) iv forgotten:
sir @radulykan and sir @Pagumb
On winning your opening rounds, you have each received a boost which can be +1 to one of the following: Attack, Defence, Speed or Toughness

...
"Well, you know how some folks say the best defense is a good offense...I don't know any of those people so I'll take +1 Speed."
 
Forsooth! Whomsoever I placed my wager on loses! Toss me a coin and I shall place it on that flagrant moldy clack dish and silence his mirth!

His merry band of jesters faces Sir Radulykan soon, and he has uncanny luck in these tourneys. UNCANNY luck. I say.
 
  • Haha
Reactions: CaptainDangerous
Sir Trafalgar, this is a gentleman’s melee, weapons are blunted, kinda, and you only die if you get beheaded or lose a limb!
You have a lot to live for however, you just made alottt of money in that last fight!

Blue team all receive 1 gold chest each, Sir Trafalgar gains an extra 3 for the vanquished enemies, and the newly named blue squire, Delta, has gained a gold chest of his own!

Sir Medmos and sir arnulf both win their bets, their gold chests already in the Sable common room!
Sir Biggle, you might have another chance to support your Blue companion in the coming rounds. And Sir stoof, your helmet remains empty.

Up next: Sable vs Vert
(I havnt done it yet, so plenty time for any bets!)
 
Stoof initiates a charm offensive on the young and impressionable Gules Squire 3 - turns out his name is Tertius - in the Red common room. Regaling him with tales of valour and derring-do, some of which are even true.
Eventually he convinces the young Squire to place a bet of a chest of gold (tis knightly not to amass to much vulgar wealth whilst still young, it blemishes the virtue you know) on Sable to win the next team fight. Naturally any winnings will be split between the two of them...

He ponders what happened to Squire Quintus' chest of gold when he was felled. Surely funeral arrangements weren't that expensive...
 
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Reactions: CaptainDangerous
The Battle of the Deteriorated Chamber

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The Sable team—dark-hearted knights Sir Dangerous, Sir Medmos, Sir Radulykan, and Sir Arnulf—emerged from the dripping shadows of the ruined chamber, iron boots echoing against the slick stone. Opposite them, the Vert team assembled: the untested squire Epsilon, the cryptic lord Anonymous, steadfast Sir Tiny, Sir Musing, and stalwart Sir Pagumb. Moss clung to the cracked walls, water dripped endlessly from a ceiling lost in darkness, and the wet floor promised treachery with every step.


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Opening Exchanges
• Squire Epsilon lunged first, arm slash whistling through the damp air. But Sir Arnulf caught the strike on his guard and drove a low thrust in return. Epsilon twisted desperately, answering with a shield bash—but Sir Arnulf danced back, cloak swirling.
• Sir Pagumb swung a mighty head cleave, yet Arnulf was quicker still, parrying with a practiced flick to the right.
• Across the chamber, Sir Dangerous lashed out with a cruel groin kick, but Pagumb sprang back, armour clanking as sparks scattered on stone.

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The First Blood
• Sir Medmos (B2) tried a sudden low stab against Epsilon, who dodged lithely aside.
• Sir Radulykan (B4) attempted a heavy head slash, but Sir Tiny (G2) stepped in, drawing the knight’s attention away with a deft distraction.
• Arnulf hacked at Epsilon’s arm, but the squire slid clear again, proving surprisingly elusive.

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Lord Anonymous (G1) then strode forward, blade arcing low toward Medmos. The Sable knight met the blow with a chest-thrust riposte. The strike slammed through Anonymous’ guard—he staggered, bloodied, and yielded immediately, driven from the fight.

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Momentum Shifts
• Sir Tiny struck at Radulykan’s arm, but the sable knight parried.
• Sir Musing (G3) pressed Medmos with his own arm cut, only to be turned aside once more.
• Epsilon swept for Arnulf’s leg, but the seasoned knight leapt back yet again.

Then came a spark of triumph—Pagumb’s blade found its mark, stabbing into Sir Dangerous’ chest. The sable knight grunted, armour dented, but only staggered, wounded (1 damage).

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Turning of the Tide
It was Sir Dangerous who answered with terrible force. He met Epsilon head-on, his blade cleaving into the squire’s leg. Epsilon crumpled to the wet stone, dead where he fell.

The chamber rang with another cry as Medmos lunged at Sir Musing (G3), driving his chest lunge deep. The Vert knight reeled, armour pierced, and yielded, grievously wounded.

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But not all went the Sables’ way: Sir Tiny countered Radulykan’s leg slash with a swift punch, striking armour and flesh. Radulykan staggered back, grunting as he took a wound (1 damage).

Pagumb and Arnulf clashed fiercely—Pagumb’s leg hack rang true, biting deep. Arnulf staggered, badly wounded (3 damage), and yielded.

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Final Duels
Sir Dangerous, relentless, struck a brutal arm hack against Pagumb. The blow smashed through guard and armour alike, leaving Pagumb reeling (3 damage). With no strength left to hold his sword, he yielded.

Sir Tiny clashed with Radulykan once more: Radulykan swung a punch, but Tiny countered with a lightning arm slash, carving across his foe’s side. Radulykan faltered (2 damage) and yielded.

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Only Tiny remained against the twin predators—Sir Medmos and Sir Dangerous.
• Tiny tried one last desperate hack at Medmos, but the sable knight countered with a low stab, drawing blood (1 damage).
• Sir Dangerous then launched a frenzied assault—his blade hammering down in a savage leg slash. The sheer force tore through Sir Tiny’s defence, leaving him bleeding and broken (5 damage). He collapsed, yielding his sword.

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Outcome

In the flickering shadows of the damp, ruined chamber, the Sable team stood victorious. Sir Dangerous, battered but unbowed, led his brothers-in-arms Medmos and the wounded Arnulf from the field, their victory echoing through the dripping halls.

The stones drank deeply of Vert blood.
 
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Ha! Sable! Sir Radulykan's band as expected having the luck of the day. Come, Squire Tertius, let us celebrate our wager's return! You're paying.

They wander off together, Sir Stoof muttering something about strange red dice with serial numbers.
 
Radu’s resident seer rubbed his hands in the yak’s blood as he chortled in glee, he picked up the red dice, their serial runes glowing as they absorbed the blood, and rolled them, his glass orb showing the same results play out in the house of sir dangerous……..